My sister Michelle has phoned home, and spoke to my mother stating that she is indeed alive and well! EKOSI so much to everyone who helped spread the message. I hope she understands it is out of love and concern that we shared those messages.
Secondly, I owe an apology. It is not fair of me to air others’ business. I do not know for certain that my sister is in current danger. I only know of what happened in the past. And although people can change, I have not been given any reason in the last months to believe that any change has come over their situation. I stand by the words I wrote in Dear Women Beater, but also wish to add this statement.
Lateral Violence is a big problem in our communities. It means that when we are put into shitty situations, we get lost in our circumstances (common things like family violence, domestic abuse, addictions, verbal abuse etc). As a result, we misplace our aggression and anger. We begin to direct that frustration in the form of violence towards our peers, or loved ones. I am openly apologizing for committing a public act of lateral violence to you, one of my peers.
When we lash out in anger, like I did when I composed the first part to this letter, we end up doing things that we regret. I am openly saying that I regret lashing out in the way that I did. I think back to finding out from my mother that Michelle had not been heard from in 8 days, and that she was thought to be with you. To be honest, I am afraid for my sister’s safety because of recent physical proof.
My first step though, was to approach Michelle myself, and ask her if she needed anything from me. In addition, I sent you a message asking her to contact us. I heard nothing from my sister, and only you responded. The demeaning and condescending message I received only heightened my suspicions you were treating her the same way. As a result, I publicly spoke to you in a similar fashion, calling you names and revealing personal information, and even a picture. I have since taken out your image, and even blacked out your name. I understand that that your response, and my initial letter were both acts of lateral violence, and I apologize to you.
I commit to admitting to my mistakes, and learning from them. I hope you can too.